Let’s get real for a second: why is talking about intimacy still treated like we’re confessing to a crime? It’s 2025, people! We can order groceries with a swipe, stream a show on demand, and yet, the mere mention of adult toys makes some of us freeze like a deer in headlights. Been there, done that. So, buckle up because today we’re going straight into the no-fluff zone.
Grab a coffee—or wine—and let’s talk about opening up to your partner about your secret stash or, better yet, your plans to buy your first dragon dildos (check out AlienDildo store for an out-of-this-world collection—you’re welcome).
Key Points:
- Starting the conversation about adult toys doesn’t have to be awkward.
- Humor and honesty can break the ice.
- Timing matters when discussing intimacy.
- Focus on mutual curiosity, not blame.
- Respect boundaries while staying open-minded.
Why the Silence Feels So Loud
We’re conditioned to believe that anything outside the missionary position is scandalous. Add the word “toys,” and suddenly, people act like you’ve suggested sacrificing a goat. Let’s call it what it is: nonsense. Intimacy thrives on communication. If you can’t talk about what makes you happy in bed, how are you supposed to enjoy it?
But hey, I get it. The thought of saying, “Hey babe, let’s try something different” feels scarier than public speaking. That’s why I’m here. Here’s how you can make the conversation less terrifying and a lot more fun.
Step One: Break the Ice Without Melting the Room
Timing is everything. Don’t blurt it out mid-Netflix binge or worse, at a family dinner. Catch your partner during a relaxed moment—think pillow talk or after a good meal (no one can resist great food and a good vibe).
Start with humor. Nothing breaks the tension like a well-timed joke. Something like, “So, I stumbled onto a site selling dragon dildos—should we get one for the living room decor?” Watch their reaction. If they laugh, you’ve got your opening. If they’re intrigued, even better.
Step Two: Use Your Words (Yes, It’s That Simple)
Forget the rehearsed script. Speak from the heart. Say something like, “I’ve been curious about spicing things up—what do you think?” Keep it casual. You’re not pitching a business idea; you’re inviting them into a conversation.
If you’re nervous, admit it. Vulnerability goes a long way. Saying, “This feels awkward, but I really want us to explore more together,” can work wonders. Honesty is hot—don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Common Fears and How to Crush Them
- “What if they think I’m weird?”
Guess what? Everyone has quirks. If your partner can’t handle yours, is that really the relationship you want? Also, odds are they’ve been curious too. - “What if they’re not into it?”
Respect their boundaries. Not every idea will be a hit, and that’s okay. Focus on the conversation rather than the outcome. - “What if it changes our dynamic?”
Change isn’t always bad. Exploring together can bring you closer.
Make It a Team Effort
Nobody wants to feel like they’re being judged or compared. Frame the conversation as a shared adventure. Say something like, “I want us to try new things together. What do you think we’d both enjoy?”
Don’t push your preferences as the only option. Give them space to share their thoughts. You might be surprised by what they’ve been keeping to themselves.
Dos and Don’ts When Talking About Intimacy
Dos:
- Keep an open mind.
- Use humor to ease tension.
- Start with small, casual mentions before jumping into specifics.
- Focus on shared pleasure and mutual curiosity.
Don’ts:
- Blame or criticize past experiences.
- Use the conversation to air unrelated grievances.
- Make it a one-sided discussion.
- Turn it into a lecture about what you think they’re missing out on.
That Time I Brought It Up (and Lived to Tell the Tale)
Picture this: me, glass of wine in hand, nervously pacing my living room. My partner walks in, and I’m blurting out, “So, what’s your take on…you know, adding some new tools to our bedroom routine?” Silence. Then a smirk. Then, “Define tools.” We laughed so hard I nearly spilled my wine.
Turns out, they were already curious but didn’t know how to bring it up. We spent the night exploring options online (AlienDildo.com for the win!) and talking about what we’d both enjoy. That awkward moment turned into one of the most fun nights we’ve had.
What to Do if the Conversation Goes Sideways
Sometimes, the best-laid plans go wrong. If your partner reacts poorly, don’t panic. Ask questions. “What makes you uncomfortable about this?” is a good start.
Be patient. Not everyone warms up to new ideas instantly. Give them time to process. And if they never come around? It’s worth asking if intimacy is something you both value equally.
Final Thoughts: Why Breaking the Taboo Matters
Talking about what makes you happy isn’t selfish. It’s brave. It’s an invitation to grow together and explore what makes your relationship stronger. Don’t let outdated ideas about intimacy hold you back. The only shame in exploring your desires is never giving yourself the chance to do it.
So, go ahead. Pour another glass of wine, grab your partner, and start the conversation. Who knows? You might just discover a whole new level of connection (and a newfound appreciation for dragon dildos).